This time…

Better the second time around - the saying goes. I think second chances are UNDERrated. These type of chances are rare opportunities. Some people are unfortunate enough to never get them at all. Some are either too numb or too dumb that even if the chance slapped them in the face, they'd still ignore it. Some are just plain dimwits to grab the chance and then let it go to waste. While the others, although hesitant at first, embrace their chance and thank their lucky stars.

One could be called stupid for making the same mistake twice, regardless of the circumstances. But then again, mistakes are our way of learning, one way to become stronger.

I'm talking about life in general…we only get one so why not be both stupid and then learn as much as we can?

They say the only reason why we won't let go of what's making us sad is because it was the only thing that made us happy…I say fuck that shit. The only reason why I was "sad" before was because I chose to be holed up inside the house doing nothing, I thought I had everything. I never realized just how unfulfilled and incomplete I was until I felt differently. Life's what we make it, it is our choice if we want to be happy or sad.

YOLO and "hakuna matata" comes to mind; instead of whining 'WHY?', sing out 'WHY NOT?!' Life is too short to waste on crying, regret and hate. Forget 'WHAT IFs' and just go for what you want. People are going to judge you no matter what you do anyway, might as well be happy and do whatever the hell you want.

Love in particular is a thorny topic when it comes to second chances…it comes in so many forms: new person but same situation, same person but different circumstances, or new person with a whole new challenge, to name a few.

Yes, I got a new lease in life…found a new love. It might be wrong, it might be short-lived, some people might even object; but at least I'm not hurting any loved one; those around me understand (or try to understand) where I'm at right now; and I'm happy. It's time for me to learn new lessons in life, collect new memories (both happy and sad), and see if I can apply the lessons I have acquired in the past.

I have loved before, a few times actually and got burned once. I thought I was done. I thought my lesson was to never fall in love again…instead, I learned that love can come in the sneakiest of ways; no matter how hard you try to avoid it, if it's meant to happen, it'll happen.

…And happen it did indeed…I am in love!

This time I am definitely happier.

This time I am infinitely thankful for all the crap I have been through because it has led me to where I am now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still pessimistic…just fuller. I'm still morbid…just a little more alive. I'm still doing mundane stuff…but with more spark, spunk and randomness.

This time I am more confident because we started by airing out our dirty little secrets, dislikes and hates.

This time I am more comfortable because we started by letting our preferences, likes and loves be known.

Communication is the key. Thank fuck for technology. I used to scold my daughter for spending too much time on her phone and tab…look who's being a hypocrite now.

This time I will set my priorities straight: my daughter and myself first, so when all else fails, I'd still have a reason to wake up the next day.

This time I will let my priorities be known, so when all else fails, the rest can go to hell.

If you love someone, set them free - I agree to a point, I wouldn't want to become a suspiscious nagging bitch. But if the one you love tries to get away, why the hell would you let them? I say grab 'em by the balls, hold tight like your life depended on it, and never let go…unless of course letting go is a mutual decision.

This time I think I know more, not better.

This time I will do better, not more.

I am not the type of person who believes in forever, but this time I really hope my Bon is for keeps.