Religion and faith are two separate things, but are tied up so inextricably, that it is difficult for some people to explain one without the other.
Religion has always felt like a business to me, a lifestyle. It makes me think of man-made things like buildings, books, money, costumes, politics, schedules and reason for holidays. It almost seems phony.
Faith is a force - something intangible. It is undeniable, something that can never be taken away. It is ingrained therefore infallible. And it is priceless, for me at least.
The last time I remember hearing mass was when my sister got married and my daughter had her First Communion. But before those, I've forgotten already because they were all from a long way back; back to when my mother could still force me to go. I don't need a specific time and/or place to pray, I could be doing laundry or sitting on a bus...and could be praying at the same time, just because I feel like it. Some might say that it's rude, but who cares?! I think it's thoughtful and genuine. Besides, I heard from some where, that God is everywhere, listening all the time. That means I'm not a fan of churches, and statues or whatever symbol any religion represents.
I am a Roman Catholic, but only because my parents had me baptized as one...so you can say that it was not by choice. I'm not saying I'm not happy with my religion, I just feel constrained. If it were up just to me, I would have waited for my daughter to come of age and let her choose her own religion, or even none at all.
I don't like priests either, or pastors, preachers or whatever they call themselves. I don't dislike the person per se, just the profession...but then again, I guess they're one and the same because the person IS the professional. I don't like the feeling of kneeling in front of a person, no matter who he or she embodies...it makes me feel submissive, powerless. Some priests (as I am a Catholic) in particular seem to be enjoying the attention and power just a little too much, to a point where it's abusive. They expect to get special treatments everywhere, and are popular with the ladies...especially the old super-religious ones, like my grandmother. What's so special about them anyway? They breathe, eat and sleep just like us. They sin and die too, exactly like us.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a demonic disciple...I am actually against the institution of all religions. Well, partly at least. But I am not an athiest either. I believe in God, good and evil. I'm not entirely sure if I believe in the heaven-hell theory though, but I use it to teach my kid anyway...makes it a little scarier if not truer, makes it more believable.
I am only partly against religion because I have to admit, it does help make the world a place a little better to live in. It guides people right from wrong, gives us something to lean on to, to fear even. It gives us the sense of affiliation, a belonging... Sadly, that belongingness also gives some people a reason to wage war. And war is one of the fastest solutions to overpopulation; a win-win scenario, if you're an inconsiderate monster, that is.
I pray, in my own way. I pray whenever I feel like it. I don't believe in making it a habit, like an obligation. I pray to say thanks for the things that I have, like family, home, food and everything else that I don't really need... I say thanks for the things that I DON'T have, like illness, too much stress and unsolvable problems. I say thanks for everything that I am, alive, loved and needed. I also pray to ask for one thing: peace of mind for everybody.
Saying grace before meal is an exception for me. It's a good practice for the kids, and because we really are thankful for the food that we have on our table, and for the time that we have together. Mealtime, especially breakfasts and dinners on a weekday is the only time we get to be together, so that's definitely something to be thankful for.
I find it offensive, rude even, when people judge me just because I don't go to church. People go to church to pray; like I said, I pray too...I just don't show it to others, and I don't need a church to do it either. Just because they go to church and follow a priest, doesn't make their faith stronger than mine.
I never forbid my daughter from going to church if she feels like it, and if there's someone else willing to take her (as she's too young to go out alone), because it's her choice, nobody can take it away from her, not even myself, not even if I wanted to. So if I choose to not go to church, or consider my God a woman (which I don't, but consider possible)...it's my choice, my faith, my life...nobody else's.
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